Becoming minimal-ish

What I’m learning from letting shit go

Hi love,

I’ve spent the last few months letting go of a lot of my material possessions and I can feel it gently transforming my mind and the way I see the world. Don’t worry, I’m not one of those cool instagram minimalists. I still have heaps of stuff, but I’m into the principle, you know?

When healing from surgery in March, I couldn’t do much. So, during the day I would binge-watch minimalist and slow living YouTube videos whilst de-cluttering my house. That was four months ago, and since then I have taken many a box to the op shop - with a goal to continue minimising until I feel that the amount of physical possessions I own invites joy and peace, as opposed to stress and overwhelm.

In the process of this little possession-purge, I’ve learned about the studies that show people with more things have higher cortisol levels, and women are especially impacted by clutter.

The minimal mom on YouTube, who I was skeptical of at first but have come to love, talks about inventory and how every single thing you own is something that you need to be responsible for, which can be a burden. So, you get to decide if it’s worth taking care of. If it brings you happiness or convenience or adds to your life in some way - then cleaning it, storing it, taking care of it is worthwhile. If not, then why are you holding onto it?

During my YouTube rabbit hole adventures I was also reminded of the philosophy of Swedish death cleaning: The Swedish practice of sorting and decluttering your belongings in preparation for your own death, at any stage of life. This practice allows you to reflect on your life and the things that matter most to you, and is an act of kindness to your relatives who will be responsible for taking care of your things when you’re gone. I imagine the process would also bring up a lot of old memories, allowing you to process and move forward.

My own darling mum loves her things, which she has in abundance. Beautiful arts, crafts and trinkets adorn her home. It’s colourful and boho and cosy. There are memories everywhere I look. I can snuggle up by the fire with a view to my childhood: nostalgia flooding the room. I occasionally bring home little bits and bobs from ‘the bazaar’ to decorate my own humble abode. I have many things that remind me of my cosy childhood in my home now. Kitchen curtains from the 80s - the exact ones from the cottage I grew up in. A little fairy sits on a side table in my bedroom. A dolphin sarong from the 90s that I still use. I’m so happy my mum has held onto so many of these things. But I dread the day that she dies and I’m left to sort through the mountains. My mum was pretty young when she had me, so I’m expecting and hoping that she’ll be around for a while longer. And, when the time comes, I won’t exactly be a spritely young thing myself. She likes her stuff, she says. It makes her happy. And we can do what we like with it when she’s gone. But that’s a lot of pressure. Amidst grieving the death of our beloved mother, there will be the added challenge of deciding what to keep, where to keep it, what to let go of, how to logistically let go of it etc etc etc. It will be a physical and emotional marathon that could well take years. And during that time we will feel the heaviness of all that stuff. She’s been trying lately, though, and I know it’s hard. Love you mum.

Letting go is hard. But letting go of material possessions is a beautiful gesture; a commitment to releasing what is holding you back and bogging you down. Or - what may heavily burden the ones you love in the future.

On the weekend I dragged (well, my husband dragged) my big box of ‘sentimental things’ from the garage and put it in the living room. I emptied it out, cleaned it, and began the sorting process. I went through old photos and threw away ones that I hated or brought up yucky feelings or memories. I made piles of duplicates and ones I didn’t want so I could give them to family members. I took out stacks of cds containing photos to transfer to a usb drive. I created enough space in the box to store beloved but unused tea cups from the kitchen, creating more peace and order in my every day experience.

I’m learning.

One surprising thing I’ve learned is that embracing the philosophies of minimalism doesn’t mean you need to let go of the things that have sentimental value. You just don’t need to keep ALL of them, and if you are storing them you can do so lovingly and mindfully - so that you can actually appreciate these items that mean so much to you. Instead of throwing everything that has sentimental value in separate drawers and cupboards and the garage, you can dedicate a special place in your home (that’s easily accessed and kept clean and beautiful) for the things you cherish but don’t want collecting dust, taking up precious real estate on your shelves, or creating disorder and chaos.

I’m learning the impact of clutter on my everyday life. I recently donated an area rug that I’ve been holding onto because it’s lovely, but it was stressing me out in small ways each day. Every time the dog got excited he would scratch at the rug, which I’d then have to tidy up. It also became a source of stress when dirty footprints (mostly from said dog) would enter the house. Once I let go of the rug and embraced the fake floor boards we lovingly laid, my daily cleaning routine became so much easier, and I stopped having to yell at the dog 50 times a day (now it’s only 35).

I’m learning that regular de-cluttering can actually inspire newfound appreciation for things you have already. I have an electronic back massager that my dad bought me (at my request) about 15 years ago. I recently took it out of the cupboard, cleaned it, and decided to give it one last whirl before I sent it to the op shop. But after using it and keeping it out for a few days, I made the decision to keep it. Had I not been decluttering, it could have sat in the cupboard, unused, for many more years.

I’ve noticed that this practice of minimising has softened my desire to buy. When I’m out browsing I’m not impulse purchasing so much. Instead, I’m asking myself where that thing is going to live, what purpose it’s going to serve, how it’s going to add value to my life. I find myself saying, ‘I don’t really need anything’ a lot. When I do want to buy something I’m waiting until I can afford the one that’s going to last. The one that I’m not going to see the ‘anko’ label on in three weeks’ time and decide I no longer want it because it’s mass produced, boring, and cheap.

I’m still learning, but I am definitely feeling more gratitude and less overwhelm, and my mindset is shifting from a focus on what I ‘need’ to what I have already. And that feels like a nice life lesson all round.

Thanks for reading.

Love always,

Jess xxx